Littman for vp of fecal matters!

Jess Littman: Tushy's new VP of FM

Full readable script:

Hi, my name is Jess Littman & I had a fully evacuative type four and a half poop this morning. I am a Virginia-based actor, film & theatre fartist, yoga teacher in tranusing, and entremanure. I’ve been pooping for almost 25 years. 

I became privy to Tushy two years ago while house-sitting for one of the stoolest people I know. But I didn’t dump wiping until about a year ago, when I performed my doo doo diligence and purchased my first Tushy. 

*Heavenly Singing*

Why the crap did I wait so long to enter the poo-ly gates of bunghole heaven? Well, I had a massive movement - back in with my parents after college. On mention of installing a bidet, my mom forbade me saying she didn’t want me to f*** up her pipes. But mom didn’t realize, I use a bidet so I don’t f*** up MY pipes. 

Pardon my french, slip of the dung.

I am a fartastic candidate for VP of Fecal Matters. Since my earliest jobs babysitting & dogsitting, I’ve been surrounded by turds in the workplace.  In the last year I’ve installed, uninstalled, and reinstalled my Tushy 3 times…long story, but now I’m a regular Poodini. 

Skidmark my words, you will not regret the decision to make me an ASSet on the Tushy Team.

*Fart Noises*